Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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