I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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