Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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