Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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