Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
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I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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