Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize