dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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