nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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