I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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