the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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