Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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