Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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