Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
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On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
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After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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