don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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