i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
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Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
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Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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