dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize