Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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