Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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