I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize