i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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