she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
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he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
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let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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