Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
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I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
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I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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