Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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