I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
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