I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize