Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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