I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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