I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
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My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
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How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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