I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize