Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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