i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
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I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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