Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize