No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
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Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
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i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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