I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
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