maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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