The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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