Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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