People in love make me want to vomit
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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