my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
did i just pee glitter
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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