He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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