i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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