I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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