ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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