I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize