You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So vagazzling was a success
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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