Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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