there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
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i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
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And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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