my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
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She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
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ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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