Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
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Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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