You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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