Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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